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Drowning in Darkness

I am not who I was once before

You can no longer hurt me anymore

I am thankful for the painful scars

That you placed upon my broken heart

For without those tears and the pain

I would not have found strength within the rain

I have been told by many that I am strong

I look at them knowing they must be wrong

I have always lived with such a fear

Hiding within my walls when love was near

Words of promise would leave me broken

I would be shattered with words left unspoken

“I will never leave you” would give me hope

Soon after I would be left empty to cope

Goodbyes are words we never dream

I am so angry right now-I want to scream

So many wasted years I spent waiting

While love died and I was left fading

I withered away while you grew strong

I pleaded for love-you turned and were gone

You left before I ever walked away

All I wanted was you to love me and stay

You became a mere stranger to me

I looked into your eyes and empty I could see

Did I ever even matter-was I of value to you

Or was I just a challenge for you to pursue

Did you ever plan to one day grow old

With me next to you and my hand to hold

Or could you see yourself once again being free

Letting go of all that once reminded you of me

You eliminated my presence one item at a time

I said goodbye-those mountains I could no longer climb

I slowly started to fade within those house walls

Begging for love as I would yet again start to fall

Despair overtook my eyes and knives cut my heart

You did not offer comfort-just pulled me further apart

You became a stranger but then again-were you always?

Did I ever really known the man I pass in the hallway?

How can one be so cold and just not care?

When I spent so many years living within such despair

I grasped at every straw and the least bit of affection

Waiting and hoping for it to come again in my direction

Yet I was only one thing to you-a body of convenience

I look back at it now and on your part that was genius

Never giving more because why should you have to

When you could be happy if to yourself you were true

When you love someone your thoughts do not drift

You do not want them then in the next moment shift

You cannot make to someone a promise of devotion

When you have no intention of keeping that notion

How could you look at my tears and just turn away

When I needed your arms around me to be Ok

You were cold and distant and a stranger often to me

I was left broken and decided to finally let you go free

I packed and left giving your life back once more

I looked over my shoulder in tears as I walked out that door

You did not grab hold and ask me to please stay

Instead you hurried me to leave and pushed me on my way

Don’t you ever hurt or miss me even in the least

As I am now gone and our love has become deceased

You were happy before me or so I have heard

You can once again bury your heart and leave it unstirred

The pain some days kills me and tears flow down

I wish you happiness as I sit in this darkness and drown

One Comment Post a comment
  1. Well, you’re not gonna drown…

    but you might find yourself feeling every wave like it’s an old friend.

    Just a thought.. In my experience, it’s the price you pay when you learn a particular type of swimming.

    Like

    May 26, 2021

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